By the time you turn 20, you should have already experienced your fair share of rejection.
And whether it comes from a love interest, a job, friendship or campus group, it’s not always easy coping with that disappointment feeling.
However, you can always learn how to do that, in many different ways.
Here are some ideas!
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1. TAKE A BREAK
Take some time to understand and process your feelings towards what happened.
Let yourself have some time where you are disappointed that you didn’t get your dream job, or that boy to love you.
Wallow in your pajamas, binge watch on Netflix, and eat all the chocolate and pizza you please, without feeling too guilty about that. It’s ok, we’re all human.
And sometimes, as one of my favorite quotes says:
‘The only way out is through’ – Robert Frost
Sometimes you just need to stop, accept and elaborate your feelings. Ignoring what happened and – most importantly – how you feel about it will not benefit you in any way. Actually, it might end up hurting you.
Those feelings will get back to you and haunt you, at some point. So take a few days to feel shitty about this event instead of carrying this heavy weight with you all the time.
Allow yourself to feel sad – or even cry – and to feel ok with the feelings you’re having. You don’t have to be happy all the time. Don’t try to act ‘cool’ all the time. Your body and your soul need some time to recover, it’s part of the process and it’s a part of life.
This will help your mind start to heal and be ready to formulate a new game plan.
2. PUT IT ALL OUT
One of my favorite things to do when I’m having a slug day – or in general I’m having a bad time elaborating my feelings – is journaling.
Honestly, it changed my life. It’s one of the most therapeutic things you can do for your mind and soul.
Your mind is not a bottle to fill up with your feelings and sadness. This will only make your healing last longer.
Because you can’t keep it shut forever. It will come out, soon or after, and in the worst way possible, unless you don’t take it out yourself.
And journaling is one of the best ways to do so. It doesn’t matter if you’re making grammatical errors, or if what you’re writing is impossible to read.
In other words: don’t let your inner perfection take over!
It doesn’t even matter how many pages you will have to write. Write for as long as you feel. Keep going even if you’re writing 20 pages of pure no-sense!
(P.S. I’ve had times when I wrote ‘I am sad’ for pages and pages. And that’s ok. Feel free to do the same if that’s what you’re feeling.)
Related post: ‘How to write consistently every day’
If you really don’t feel comfortable writing down your feelings, you can call up your mom, best friend, and other loved ones. Let them speak encouragement and love into your broken heart.
They will remind you of who you are when you might have forgotten yourself.
3. GET BACK UP
After you took some time to elaborate your feelings and get it all out of your mind, it’s time to get back in the game.
Every little step is appreciated and important.
Don’t expect to be putting it all together in one day. It will still hurt for a while, but time will help and as long as you take some steps and moving forward, you’re doing fine!
4. LEARN FROM IT
There’s nothing right or wrong about what happens in your life. But I’m honestly convinced that it happens for a reason, even if it’s just to teach you something.
We I look at my past, I can easily see how some events that felt wrong and hurt me at the time, benefited me in the long run.
Sometimes a door closes so that the right one can open.
Sometimes the lesson is that what you thought you wanted isn’t what you needed after all.
And sometimes you need to learn the lesson the hard way.
So, now, when I’m going through a tough time, I just tell myself it’s gonna make sense in the future.
Also, every rejection gives us the opportunity to take an honest look at our lives.
Was there something we did, or inadvertently did, that contributed to the rejection that happened? If there was something, try not to make that mistake again.
Don’t beat yourself up, but still be honest about ways you can fix parts of yourself – for a future opportunity.
Related post: ‘What rich and successful people really do’
5. DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF
I think we tend to blame ourselves for what happens in our lives, even when it’s not our fault.
Clarify what you can and cannot control in your life: then accept what you can’t control while working on what you have control on.
For example, you can’t force a guy to fall in love with your, but you can improve your social skills so that it gets easier to meet new people.
Related posts: ‘How to practice self-care’
6. BE GRATEFUL
Make a list of everything you are still grateful for, despite this recent rejection.
Despite the million excuses and complains, there’s always something to be grateful for.
This will give you a better perspective on your life: this job you got fired from – or love you lost – aren’t the worst things in the whole world. You still have plenty of things to be grateful for in your everyday life.
Even the fact that you are alive, that you can breathe or that you have an Internet connection to read this blog post. Just think about it and stop taking anything for granted.
I highly suggest you start using the 5-minutes journal. It honestly made a huge impact on my life, because it can completely switch my mood and focus for the day.
Related post: ’10 Best Morning routine ideas’
Always remember that failing doesn’t make you a failure.
It just makes you someone that got through something tough, survived and learned something from the experience.
You’re still a worthwhile human being, with dreams, passions, and abilities in your life. Don’t lose your identity during tumultuous times.
We have all faced rejection in our lives, and we will continue to face it in the future.
Whenever you go through a tough time, follow these steps and – most importantly – keep the focus on the amazing things and people you have in your life.
You can still live content knowing that without the bad we wouldn’t be able to appreciate all the good.
How do you personally cope with rejection?